Limited Edition Messenger Bag


That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big
by Vlad

Rock on!
Burnin' Hearts!
Sore Arms!
Athlete's Foot!

I want!
You fall!
We Live!
I'm the One!

That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big!
That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big!

Push ups!
(All:) MAKE IT BIG!!!
Do them now!
(All:) MAKE IT BIG!!!
No Lipstick!
(All:) MAKE IT BIG!!!!
Whiplash!
(All:) MAKE IT BIG!!!!

Explosions!
(All:) WE ARE BIG!!!
Raw Force!
(All:) WE KILLED A PIG!!!
Iron Tongue!
(All:) WE KICK ASS!!!
Wanna Rock?
(All:)BADNESS!!!

That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big!
That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big!

Rock and Roll!!!

(guitar solo)

Gotta Get to to the top?
Work hard till you pop!

Whoo!

That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big!!!
That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big!!!

That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big!!!
That's How You Make it if You Wanna Make it Big!!!

Do you wanna make it big?
IT IS BIG, BITCH!!!


My Crotch
by Dave Smith

My Crotch!
It's Electric!
It Knows
How You Feel

My Crotch!
It's Ecentric!
It shows
So Much Zeal

When the night is over
And the stars are high
There's one last thing
That you oughta try

When no one's lookin
And you're all alone
Give me a call
Just pick up the phone

Call 1-800-

My Crotch!
It's Toll Free!
Baby just say
the word

My Crotch!
Free Delivery!
Luv Pizza
You can afford

(guest rapper)
Watch out!
It's Dave's crotch!
Rockin like
You know it can
I say
Don't Pout!
Play Hopskotch
With the Hot
Luvin' Man
Dave Dave Dave
Dave Dave
You can be
his slave
No one rocks
like Dave
Dave Dave Dave

(Dave)
My Crotch!

My Crotch!
(ALL:) My Crotch!
It's on fiyah!
Burnin
Like all Hell!

My Crotch!
(ALL:) My Crotch!
I'm no liyah!
Baby
You can Tell

repeat various choruses and fade out



Can't Hold It Any More (A Ballad) 
by Vlad

Life on the the rode is never quite like what it seems
Drivin on the road all day, rest stops only dreams
It's been a long ride and it's starting to get cold
Too much to drink and now I'm starting to feel bold
I feel the pressure building deep inside of me
I have to wait until there's no one 'round to see

(chorus)
I can' hold it any more
Can't hold it any more
I can't hold it any more
Can't hold it any more

I miss you so bad that I cannot stop the car
Try to convince myself it's not really that far
Your lips, your eyes, your body occupy my mind
Anything to keep my thoughts from my current bind
I cannot fight the urge, control has hit the wall
I'll have you soon as I go answer nature's call

(chorus)
I can't hold it any more
Can't hold it any more
I can't hold it any more
Can't hold it any more

(solo)

I'm finally with you now and holding you so close
You are on fire and I've got your fire hose
Your eyes inviting as you lead me to the bath
You run the water and-

(chorus)
I can't hold it any more
I can't hold it any more
Water runnin', glasses pour
Can't hold it any more
Faucet dripping, rowing orr
Can't hold any more
Niagra Falls, the ocean shore
Can't hold it any more
Lake Wobegone and sweaty whores
Can't hold it any more

(fade out)


Luv Gong
by Dave Smith

Well I see you picture
Yeah, I'd luv to meet you
Do I make you hot?
Come on tell me true

You can feel my fire
It burns from within
I can take you higher
Than you've ever been

(ALL)
Do you want lunch?

Oh no!

(ALL)
Do you want dinner?

No way!

(ALL)
Is it time to let the cats out?

Hell no

(ALL)
Then what are you tryin to say?

chorus
Bang my Luv Gong
That's what I'd like
You be the cyclist
And I'll be the bike

Bang my Luv Gong
You know what to do
Come on, baby, let me
Bang my Luv Gong with you

The sweat is drippin
Off of my skin
Your body is burnin'
Like a cat on a tin

Feel my desire
Making you long
For the exciting tempatations
Of my Luv Gong

(ALL)
Do you want salad?

Oh no!

(ALL)
Do you want cheese?

Hell if I do!

(ALL)
Is it time to paint the side walk?

No Way!

(ALL)
Then what are you trying to do?

chorus
repeat chorus
fade out



Everybody Rockin' Wit Steve!
by Wuzzy

When I was a kid,
I licked the lid,
A couple of times,
But now I'm old,
I've lost the cold,
Now watch my paper fold!

(Chorus)
Everybody rockin' wit steve,
Everybody rockin' wit steve,
Everybody rockin' wit steve,
Everybody rockin' wit....
Steve!

I shot 'em wit da rockets,
I tore 'em wit da pockets,
I stole all da muffins,
??????????????ins,
I ate all their honey,
and I look like a bunny!
Now...

(Chorus)

(Guitar solo)

(Spoken)
You know, I've been down the rode a couple o' times,
I thoughts, "Hey! What's this?!!?",
But then I realized,
That My Potatoes were cold!!!!!
So....

(Chorus repeated over and over again until Wuzzy passes out)


Spineless Bitch - by Vlad

I see
You there
I feel
Your stare
You say
No words
Your pre-
sence hurts

You left
Me dead
A pool
Of red
My heart
Ripped out
By your
Cute pout

Spineless bitch

You left
No note
You took
My boat
My dog
My cat
My wel-
come mat

My law-
yer sucked
My ass
was f**ked
You used
No lube
I'm such
A boob

Spineless bitch

Let's duke
it out
Don't scream
Or shout
It's fair
And square
Won't pull
Your hair

Just one
Good hit
That's all
That's it
Or pics
I'll send
To my
web friends

Spineless bitch

I have
Moved on
The an-
ger's gone
And by
The way
Your boy
friend's gay

Spineless bitch



Love Do It!!! (Love Duet?)
written by ?

Love Do It!!!
When you gotta find your love,
Love Do It!!!
Drinkin whisky from a cup
Do It!!!
Make me feel like I'm the one!
Love Do It!!!
Cause you don't stop now
and this life aint' worth a gun.
Yeah.

I been on the road,
Beatin the path,
But we never have time
to do the math

It's the road I'm on,
Don't you know
If you feel it in your heart
The lights will glow

Do it!!!
When you know your time has come
Love Do It!
When your out there, holdin on
Love Do It!!!
Sing the song that can't be sung
Yeah, Do It!!!
When you're out on the window,
Babe, its time that you shut the door.

Ain't it loney time
When your out there all along
When you pick up an extra dime
Don't you know we'll sing along

Love Do It!!!
When you gotta find your love
Love Do It!!!
Its like a ball without a glove
Do It!!!!
Make me feel like I'm the one
Love Do It!!!!
Yeah pick up the pieces
And hold on cause Love Do It!



She Must Be Some Kind of Ho
by Dave Smith

Sittin in the sunshine
Her hair blows wild and free
Loving in the night time
Her heart belongs to me

And I wonder
How can it be
This heavenly creature
Is mine

So lovingly
So tenderly
In such a short span
of time

She must be some kind of ho
She must be some kind of ho
She gave her
She gave her love to me

Dancing in the starlight
Learning how true love can be
Wondering if she might
Get it on with me

What kind of girl
Gives hot luvin
Gives it a way
So free

I only knew her
an hour
How could she sleep
with me

She must be some kind of ho
She must be some kind of ho
Don't you know
As far as
As far as I can see

She must be some kind of ho
Don't you know
She must be some kind of ho
Don't you know
No one else would
No one else would sleep with me

She must be some kind of ho
Don't you know
She must be some kind of ho
Don't you know
(repeat and fade out)



Black Coat
by Wuzzy

Alright!
A long time ago when we were fish,
I'd put on a show and that was my wish,
Now it's time to eat and my legs are gone,
Hey man what you got to be a bon-bon?!!?

(Chorus)
Down with the jimmy bon-bon!
Down with the chicken little melt,
Down with my hose and my boat,
Hey man! I've got a black coat!!!!

Hey, remember when I was young,
And I'd break all my toys?
I got lots of hats but I had no coins,
Now I'm in the lot and no where to go,
HEY! Get your Big Mac and move on!!!!!

(Chorus)
(Chorus)

BLACK COAT!!!!!!!! Yeah!



Tonight's the Night
by Vlad and Dave

Remember when we sang
Hot Rockin' Luv
We sounded like Hot Luvin
Angels from above

We want to know you want us
So come on, give us love

I've been sittin here lonely
Thinkin O' You
I wanna be your Luv Monkey
Show me what to do

The Mousse is in my hair
And the Luv is all for you.

Tonight's the night
Badness can be yours
Your dream's take flight
Come on, let us score

Don't you know we're a rock band
Come on and be our whore


Demon, Drool, Spit, Vomit
Gently from our lips
We know we drive you crazy
When Dave shakes his hips

Crushed Bones was so lovely
And how it made you flip

So the night is so enticing
As far as the eye can see
Now that we're alone
You Gotta Hold onto Steve

That's not how you make it
If you wanna make it big

Tonight's the Night
Does Badness make the grade?
You Luv's in Sight
We're so glad you stayed

Don't you know we're a Rock Band
We're supposed to be getting laid

repeat choruses
fade out


Get It On
by Dave Smith


You say "tomato"
I say, "I got your tomato right here"
You say "potato"
I say, "Yeah baby, I'll show you a real potato"
Let's just get it on

You say "Pardon me"
I say "I'm your act of contrition"
You say "Have you got the time?"
I say "I got fifteen minutes just for you baby"
Let's just get it on

You say "How rude"
I say "I'll be as rude as you like"
You say "Pig"
I say "I'll eat your slop anyday"
So let's just get it on

You say "I'll call the cops"
I say, "Go ahead. Frisk me"
You say "restraining order"
I say "Restrain this."
Let's get in on

You say "You have the right to remain silent"
I say "I have the right to have hot luvin'"
You say "Turn around and put your hands on your head"
I say "I love it when you play rough"
Let's get it on

You say "Sentenced to 60 days in the county jail"
I say "I'm sentence to an eternity of hell without your luvin"
You say I'm your bitch
I say "I'm the hot luvin bitch...
hey...
what the hell are you doing...?
...don't touch me there! "


Anaconda Man
by Vlad

(spoken)
I see you lookin my way
I know you've something to say
I feel your gaze on my length
I watch you drool at my strength

(sung loud)
I take you closer to me
I make you fear what you see
I wrap my coils 'round your form
And my forked tongue makes you squirm

(bridge)
Got what I want
I'm moving in fast
Shed my skin and slither though your grass

(chorus)
I'm Anaconda Man
Anaconda Man

(spoken)
You like the scales and the slime
You need my love all the time
The kind you fear in the dark
Because I know where to park

(sung loud)
I can swim in the river
I'll eat you whole you quiver
And my tongue ain't for lickin'
When I'm cooked, taste like chicken

(bridge)
I'm in the zoo
"DON'T TAP ON GLASS"
It's tough to doo when I an't go no ass

(chorus)
I'm Anaconda Man
Anaconda Man

(guitar solo)

(spoken)
I see
I know
I feel
I watch

(sung loud)
I swim
I shed
I'm cooked
Chicken

(chorus)
I'm Anaconda Man
Anaconda Man

Yes, Anaconda Man
Get it when I can

Anaconda Man
Luv you like no man

Anaconda Man
Cookin in a pan

Anaconda Man
More nutrition than spam

Anaconda Man!



Luv Picasso
by Dave

Sequened Stripes
Down my pants
Yo luver gripes
Raves and rants

He can't be me
Not at all
I should be
On the wall

I'm a Luv Picasso
I'll get you with my lasso
If your boyfriend tries to get me
I'll kick him in the asso

Luv Picasso
King of Compasso
Your luvin is my kingdom
And this bed is my casso

Melt your heart
Do it right
I am art
What a sight

Look and see
I don't kid
Gallery
Up for bid

I'm a Luv Picasso
Wearin' nipple tasso
Everybody wants to own me
Just like Gallahasso

Luv Picasso
So expensive! Rasso!
If you got the goods to buy me
You can take me down to Nasso



Living in the Jungle
by Vlad

(chorus)
Livin' in the Jungle
No where to hide!
They got your back against the wall
And your hands are tide!

Living in the Jungle!
And I ain't talkin' jive
You know you gotta stay hungry
Killin' to survive!!!


The night is black
And I'm on my own
And I'm in this Jungle
This Jungle my home

No one to help
No one to call a friend
Its what life's like
Livin on the edge!

But you do what you can!
You gotta be a man!
No one gives you a hand!
You're in the promised land!

repeat chorus

Then you see a hairy spider
And a big fat snake!
And here comes Mr. Tiger
And he's no fake!

Jungle Poachers
Are not my friends
They try to kill
The friendly Jungle Gorillas

You gotta save your friends!
Fight untill the end!
Yeah! It's burnin' hot!
And there's lots o' parrots!L

Livin' in the Jungle
No where to hide!
They got your back against the wall
And your hands are tide!

Living in the Jungle!
And I ain't talkin' jive
It' Gorilla Warfare!!!
Killin' to survive!!!

Living in the Jungle! Ha!


Do You Wanna Rock? (Badness!) - by Vlad, Dave and Wuzzy

It's Saturday night and baby is lookin' fine
Another Saturday night, wishin that she were mine
But I'm all alone sitting here watchin time

My hair is big and my makeup's on just right
Wearing black and red gives the babes a fright
So dress in plaid and prepare to love all night

(chorus)
Do you wanna rock?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna roll?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna shake?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna bake?
Badness! Badness!
Come on take a ride with us
We're gonna show you some Badness!
Yeah, Badness!

Wuzzy's in the bathroom looking at his lunch
Vlad's at the bar drinking whiskey by the bunch
Dave Smith is here looking for some Crunch'n Munch

Babes abound all looking for the Badness boys
We know they're around hoping to be our toys
Wish they'd hurry it up, I'm 'bout running outta ploys

(chorus)
Do you wanna rock?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna roll?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna shake?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna bowl?
Badness! Badness!
Come on take a ride with us
We're gonna show you some Badness!
Yeah, Badness!

(solo)

Sure is getting lonely sitting here at the bar
Unless the chicks approach we know we won't get far
And we start to wonder if maybe they saw our car

So we start to dance, getting on our groove thing
The band is lame so Dave gets up and starts to sing
The crowd wild and looks just like a boxing ring

(chorus)
Do you wanna rock?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna roll?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna shake?
Badness! Badness!
Do you wanna bowl?
Badness! Badness!
Come on take a ride with us
We're gonna show you some Badness!
Yeah, Badness!

(repeat chorus)

 

Email  BADNESS!!!!!

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